Statement of Purpose
To kick off my portfolio, I have reproduced my original Statement of Purpose, that is, my reasons for embarking on an NVC Candidate’s journey towards certification and have reviewed it as I now finalise my portfolio for submission. The Original Statement is below. I recommend that you begin with the original statement and then read the reviewed statement.
Original Statement of intent, October 7. 2019
My partner, Tony and I both resigned from our professional roles in August last year in order to live differently. In sum, we were wanting more than just working for our employers. We wanted more agency in our life choices and greater control over our impact on others. We both have a deep desire to ‘make a difference’ and feel that our qualifications, life experience and motivation position us at this time in our lives to achieve this. Together we are setting up a small consultancy, Coaching to Clarity to provide personal and professional development services for individuals, families, friends and organisations. I am a trained linguist, with research & teaching experience and with publication outputs. My website outlines my professional career <eathomson.com>. I have also spent much of my years in the Higher Education and Defence sectors as a manager, supervisor, thought leader and champion of various initiatives and projects. Tony is an ex Air Force officer with an engineering background. He was worked on major projects, had a number of key leadership roles including Commanding Officer of the School of Postgraduate Studies for Air Force promotions. His interests and experience are in HR, IR, ethics, leadership, team building and communication. We form a complimentary team.
In my case, I want to combine my linguistic knowledge and skills with NVC to develop services for our new business. Our mission statement at this stage is 'to assist people to authentically connect with their feelings and needs in order to clearly communicate with themselves, their friends, family and work colleagues’. Our services will include face to face and online workshops, individual coaching sessions and tailored leadership programs for individuals that are wanting to ‘stretch’ themselves. Part of the leadership service will include outdoor activities, such as sea kayaking and hiking as an opportunity for experiential learning to better read oneself physically and emotionally. We are both experienced and qualified sea kayakers.
Personally, NVC for me offers an approach to better know myself, heal myself and at the same time, heal my relationship with my mother and siblings. I have two children of my own, a daughter who is 33 living in NYC, and a son who is 30 studying ft at university in fine arts. My relationship with both of them is connected and loving. Tony has two boys, the 29 yr old living in Canberra and a 26yr old about to get married and living in Melbourne. My relationship with them is warm and respectful, however, I am not their mother and am cautious not to play that role.
In my early adult years, I was a fundamentalist Christian. Eventually I rejected the Christian story, and at the same time the desire to develop myself spiritually. I was a happy atheist for many years, but now in my late 50s, I would add that while I’m still an atheist, I do now have a spiritual life, but one not connected to a religion. I feel strong connection to the earth, its flora and fauna and to the power and energy of the sun and its life-giving properties. I love the outdoors. I love feeling connected to myself, to others and to the environment around me. Having discovered NVC, I know it will help me connect more deeply and lovingly into the future. And if I can live an NVC-like life, I would then like to share the experience.
I want to see social change towards sustainability of relationships, of the environment and for the future. Essentially, I have spent my life as a teacher, imparting my knowledge and skills, but now I want to impart a deeper connectedness to others and strategies for enriching life. We are in a confusing time in history which I feel needs more connection and understanding rather than adversarialism and domination. Michael Halliday, founder of systemic functional linguistics, talks about the 'interpersonal metafuction as primary’. I want to live and work in this space, no longer driven by knowledge, cognition and the mind but more by the heart, connection and open, healthy communication. Part of developing interpersonally requires knowing, using and refining one’s use of language for interpersonal connection. Culturally I consider that Australian English, despite being very ‘colourful’, is quite bereft of expressions of feelings and needs. Compared to other cultures, we don’t have a sophisticated or developed vernacular for how we feel and appreciate. We are good at judgement but that buys into adversarialism and social bonding around negative tropes. NVC offers change through positive discourse and empathetic listening, the kind of listening that requires the listener to develop a repertoire of vocabulary of feelings and needs. This is very exciting as it acknowledges that we mediate/connect/bond with ourselves and others primarily through language. Being better ‘languagers’ will enable better connectedness to others. I see this as my future endeavour.
As I develop my NVC skills and consciousness, I intend to build a community around me of NVC mentors, practitioners and novices. I intend to teach, mentor and coach. This is already starting with a couple of requests for coaching. I am doing this informally as Tony and I work up the business model and our services. By mid 2021, we expect to have moved to the south coast of NSW, near Nowra, where we plan to be set up in a new house with a new business.
My interest in being fully certified is both personal and professional. I want to grow and learn as much as possible, but also offer my services, confident in the knowledge that I am teaching NVC as intended by Marshall with certified accreditation. It provides me with my own community of practice through which I hope to grow and learn.
Reviewed Statement of Purpose, February 2023
As I revisited my original statement, I realised that I want to reiterate and add to my original statement of Intent which I included in my candidature application.
In terms of reiteration, Tony and I are now living on the south coast having designed and built our house. We have established a leadership and communication small business which engages in teaching NVC, offering Practice Groups in NVC and uses NVC in coaching sessions. We are using NVC in our lives with family and friends and also professionally as I had anticipated.
What I want to add is the unexpected extent of personal growth and development that I have been doing. While I wanted it and sought it out, I wasn’t aware of just how much the last couple of years have been a maturing process for me. I guess I’d describe it as discovering, accepting and understanding my triggers, where they come from and when they activate. It has been a bit like looking under the rocks of self, and discovering more about who I am, how I came to be like I am, and what I want to be now.
What I want to be now more than ever is
to be present, in the moment, open to whatever is to happen;
to care for myself in every moment, meeting my needs in readiness for engaging with compassion in the world.
to love all the parts of me, even the ones which react and drive for safety and protection. My educator and my chooser and all other parts of me are only trying to care for me.
to speak when it matters;
to hear others fully, to hear behind their pain and their hurtful words to sense and respond with empathy to their unmet needs.
